Sunday, June 8, 2008

An open letter to Chili's:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Chili,

I love your restaurant, and spent many a night during college coming in for bottomless chips and salsa (with ranch) for $2.89 and bottomless diet cokes for $1.89. I used to frequent your local restaurant, but so many other great places to eat have popped up around town, that I rarely come to eat there any more.

Today, I remembered about you and decided to pop in with a friend. I'll ignore the fact that we walked in and the host stood there for about 3 minutes (doing nothing) before he asked us if we wanted to put our name in AND the fact that once I was seated several children in the waiting area were playing the drums on the walls and doors and it was super loud. Technically, that was their parents' fault, not yours.

What I don't understand are the following things:

  1. We had to ask for silverware and napkinS. When Random Waiter (not our Waitress) replied, he asked if we needed a knife too, or just a fork. Really? Is it too much trouble to grab TWO utensils at the waiter's stand? He also brought us each just ONE napkin, like there is some sort a ration going on at Chili's that we didn't know about.
  2. When I was looking at the menu, I found the most confusing thing. Under the sandwiches menu the prices seemed strange. The Smoked Turkey sandwich (which is one of my favorites) is priced at $6.79, but for an extra $1.29 I could add applewood smoked bacon. Right next to that was the Turkey Combo Deal also priced at $6.79, but if I wanted I could add applewood smoked bacon for $0.69. Hmmmm ... does this make sense? Is there going to be less bacon on the Turkey Combo sandwich?
  3. Why do the waiters and waitresses come by approximately 30 seconds after you get your food to ask if everything tastes okay? Well, I have only gotten the chance to see and smell my food, and so far so good. [We had a similar experience at Gap today. We were literally 3 steps into the store when one of the employees asked if we were finding everything okay. I wanted to say, "Yes, I found your store and the front door okay. That's as far as I've gotten."]
  4. When you have no more drink in your glass, why is that always the hardest time to find your waitress?

Okay, I think that's it for now. No, I'm not going to stop eating at your restaurant, but I will remember this is in my list of pet peeves around town!

Sincerely,

Applewood Baconless

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4 comments:

Heather rules said...

I too love Chili's and their bottomless chips and salsa. Sorry your experience sucked. Your letter cracked me up.

distaff said...

I think Mr. and Mrs. Chili live close to us -- I can smell the grease when I take an evening walk. All those chips frying are an environmental hazard. Best to just eat the salsa with the rawtomatoes that are making people sick all over the country.

RachelC said...

Those Gap employees must not have been paying attention during training. At Loft, I was taught to ask customers if there was anything I could help them find. I know, I still can't believe that I used to help people shop when I hate shopping for myself so much.

Bets said...

Heather ... you read my mind, girl! Aren't bottomless food items of any kind great?

Mom ... are you sure you're smelling chips that far away? Maybe you are smelling some of your lovely neighbors cooking or the McD's across the street!

Rachel ... You used to work at Loft? For the discount on teacher clothes? I'm jealous!